It went like this
It should be easy and quick.
The test I mean.
The test of the unhateful.
Didn’t want to do all of these but i just have to.
I thought I was doing all good to myself and to them.
Ever since I agreed to His love, I’ve devoted myself to reciprocating and showcasing that love to other people too.
Thought it would be fun and easy to do.
Until I realized what talking His yoke and learning of Him truly means.
I realised that all my good to them doesnt even count.
I has a mission to be loved, to be what I want.
To make them see me and like me for who I am.
But they didnt actually knew me for who I was.
I thought they saw me as a good different.
Well, that’s how I see myself.
Until it dawned on me that they did’nt even know
They didnt care to know.
If I was on their side they’ll like me.
It does’nt change what they feel about me.
Hate, yeah that’s the word hate.
What have I really done wrong?
I’ve practically become stupid!
Still, it doesnt change what they feel about me.
Hate, yeah thats the word hate.
It was in the air. I really did’nt feel it until an organises outburst of anger by them. I really felt intimidated and scared or them.
I really thought I liked them and showed it in every way. I mean I know I did mean to do a few mistakes but I thought theyll like me too despite my flaws.
I mean I accept and over look every of theirs at least just to show love. The kind of love I’m meant to show as His child. But it did’nt work, all of it. Everything just did’nt work.
Intimidated, scared…..I was humiliated beyond what I can imagine.
I still held on.
His love has shown me that despite who they are or what they do, love never changes. Mine shoud’nt too. Especially since I’m a representative of that love.
That is why if I want to reiterate their actions by responding the same way they did for me, it never works out. I just end up hurting myself.
This is beyond what the human mind can fathom.
I don’t even understand why I am doing this.
They don’t either. But they know I have something they don’t.
Something is missing.
There’s a big difference.
Very big one.
And that difference is love in flesh and spirit.
Love in me. Love, the life that I live that makes me different from everyone else.
And that love is;